One of my friends commented that “she always knew I had a book in me somewhere”. I always felt that way too, but could never seem to get it out. Recently, I wondered if maybe I’m an ADD person since I am good at starting books, but never seem to finish them. Maybe, I should have written short stories, very short stories which is why this blog is so comfortable for me. Maybe, it was that college professor who said I only write in exclamation marks or maybe I should just force myself to finish a book. At least, I could then say I had done it. For me, it’s a conundrum.
I see it as a personal failing that I haven’t finished one. Perhaps it is an unwillingness to open up my innermost feelings and truly get involved with the character. Perhaps, it is a lack of ability or imagination. Maybe, I just love reading more than I love writing. Reading is the ultimate great escape for me, a way of learning about other people and things and living a separate life. Normally, the books are all fiction since I find most nonfiction boring. I seem to love plots. Murder mysteries have been a long time favorite. I have read Agatha Christie, Sherlock Holmes, Ellery Queen, Tom Clancy, John Grisham as well as many other personal favorites. James Mitchner and Leon Uris fascinated me for years.
Then, I found Nora Roberts, who to my astonishment, is a really good writer. Reading her books has taught me a lot about writing which I have gladly learned. She has a very definable style, but that is her style and I don’t want to copy her. Well, to be truthful, I want to copy her, but know that is cheating. Besides, she might have some objections if I ever published anything. Now, it is Steig Larsson books that are keeping my attention.
Reading a book is the easy part; writing one is the difficult part. It is only in the past few years that I have even admitted publicly to anyone that I want to write a book. Why didn’t I share with anyone but my closest friends? The answer is obvious–fear of looking stupid or incapable aka the fear of failure. I’ve always been a ‘put your money where your mouth is’ type of person and in this one area I just don’t seem to be able to pull it off.
If my books grew as well as the weeds in my yard, I would be a billionaire by now but that is another topic for another day. So, thanks to all of you authors out there who make it possible for all us readers to escape from the mundane into the exciting worlds you create.