Now, there’s a surprise for you. The Supercommittee failed to come to agreement on budget cuts to get control of and start lowering our national debt. How many Congressmen and women does it take to change a light bulb? Apparently, all of them. Even better, how long does the process take? They have to vote on which light bulb to purchase and decide on the price. Then, they buy them by the gross spending millions of dollars now to save in the future. Then, they had to purchase a ladder which cost about $120,000.00 due to OSHA and Homeland Security regulations.
Next, the decision about who should climb the ladder brought about a lot of dissention ending with a filibuster which is still in progress. The orators used the usual bombastic, fist pounding method building up the man they back while demeaning the opponent’s method of climbing throwing in hints about a perverted sexual lifestyle which is even now making large headlines and stories filled with innuendo and speculation with just enough truth to make the unproven portions possible are repeatedly played out on television and in the newspapers.
Meanwhile, the orators are reduced to using flashlights to see their written speeches because more light bulbs have burned out since this all started. Their aides are standing nearby with prompts at the ready should their eyes fail them. The aides also have purified water and snacks of cheese, caviar, crackers, lox, and all the accompanying needs to meet their physical needs. For such lofty orators, a sandwich just isn’t good enough. Surprisingly, a group of five Senators and 10 Congressmen missed a junket to Dubai to discuss Mid-East affairs as it relates to the economy of Sri Lanka and the United States. It’s obvious these men take their duties to their constituents seriously.
There is now talk of shutting down the government since the light situation is not yet resolved and more lights have burned out. The huge ladder is standing in the middle of the room blocking the view of those two citizens who come daily to watch the workings of their government. A group of schoolchildren touring this high office was turned away since there could possibly be repercussions for allowing small children near such a dangerous apparatus.
Finally, a particularly bright aide remembered that the Congress has a maintenance staff to fulfill their every wish and with one call had them scurrying over to replace the burnt out bulbs. With the problem resolved, all the Senators and Congressmen patted each other on the back to have resolved the matter in such a satisfactory manner. They can’t even agree on changing a light bulb. It is beyond me why we thought they could do anything as practical as cutting the budget. Afterall, we might not like, fund, or reelect them if they cut our favorite program. This is what we have come to today.