It pays to reach out to people you don’t know. I’ve consistently done this over the years talking with people, often in deep, involved conversations, whom I don’t know in any way, shape or form. Most times, as I walk away, it is to only realize that I don’t even know their name, and, on second thought, don’t need to since I will never see them again. I think I’ve often embarrassed or fascinated my kids with this trait. It often frustrated my husband that I could relate so totally to someone for that five minutes and then walk away totally erasing them from my consciousness. There was no meanness involved. It’s just me, how I’m built.
One post on my Facebook page brought all this roaring back into my head. It referred the reader to a blog entitled, “19 Struggles of Having an Outgoing Personality While being an Introvert“. Reading it, my eyes became as big as saucers, my mouth forming a perfect O as each item listed described me to a tee. The blog, written by Christian Marcus Lyons, couldn’t have described me any better. In fact, I couldn’t have described myself nearly as well. It was like having a decade of extraordinary Christmases all at once.
Life has always been a struggle for me. It feels as though each time I open my mouth and talk, out falls a bunch of gobbledegook while those listening smile politely ignoring the drool, patting me on the head saying, “good, Carol, good Carol, it’s okay.” I always feel as though my brain is saying one thing while my mouth is saying something else leaving those around me in total confusion. Now I find out that the universe I live in is inhabited by others who in their own introverted way refused to interact with me which, by the way, I would have abhorred if they had.
As usual, I raced to my Kindle to look up books on being an introvert and they are legion. My first winter in Alaska isn’t looking bleak at all. I can see it now. Snow gently falling outside, the fireplace burning brightly, the ever faithful dog at my feet while I study a whole new world, one to which I belong.